Check out the Scourge of Feathers fantasy serial fiction blog written by none other than M. Lori Motley.

Scourge of Feathers Fantasy Fiction Blog

Things are getting interesting in the forgotten kingdom of Barend. Captain Harlon spars with wife and magpie over his interest – purely professional! – of the new lady in town. The new lady in town reveals she is actually there to work. Work!

In the words of the immortal Vizzini, “Inconceivable!”

And now there’s an orc. A non-farming orc. An orc with a big-ass war hammer and a flamboyantly-dressed minder.

Scourge of Feathers is a comedic fantasy fiction blog with new chapters added weekly.
M. Lori Motley started this project to have fun, though she says she hopes people actually come to read the thing. Why? ‘Cause she thinks they’ll have fun reading it to. I’ve read some of the chapters. They are funny. I mean, not like I’m rolling around laughing my ass off or anything, but yeah… I laughed.

Ya see, Barend is this really screwy place. No one wants it, no one visits it… well, normally. And all of a sudden these people (and orcs) start showing up… screwing with the status quo, ya know? And there’s this self-appointed “King’s Own Guard,” who is really just some shmuck in a homemade uniform, who goes around trying to make money and avoiding trouble.

Lori’s got a good sense of humor. And it’s not that pffft-whoops-I-farted adolescent crap either. It’s actually funny in a dry sort of way.  Check it out.

So, Melanie brings home this movie, “Spiderwick Chronicles,” which is a take-off on a book. I haven’t read the book. It’s hard to turn pages with huge, gleaming claws after all.

We watch this movie and then she turns to me and asks the question, “What did you think?”

What did I think?

I think they should stop making movies about bratty kids (my gosh, do any kids actually get along with their siblings? And what was with that Mom, blaming the youngest one for everything that went wrong? That’s what they call emotional abuse if I’m not mistaken.), magic books, and goblins. I have to admit though, that the goblins in this movie looked pretty realistic. A bit too much like frogs, but pretty good. The leader was ridiculous. No goblin is going to dress up like a wanna-be Jack Sparrow.

And it is true that hob-goblins like birds, though they didn’t get the nose quite right. And those sprites. They do swarm around like big white clouds like that too. In the summer, it gets so bad I have to let off some protective fire bursts just to see a foot in front of my face.

So, my vote is 3 stars out of 5. Decent story (though its been done 5.23 billion times already), pretty good portrayal of goblins, and the do-it-yourself magic-mushroom ring was cool.

You should see my eyes rolling right now.

But hey, the teen girls seem to like it.

For those who have seen the movie and may be groaning, “What? No way is that as good as The Princess Bride!” just give me a minute to explain what I mean here.

The story is pretty straight-forward, but many fantasy movie scripts are. The acting is so-so, but again, that’s nothing strange. The special effects are really pretty cool, considering the age of the movie. Come on! Giant talking rock faces in mountains? It’s an old movie, and you get what’s good for the time it came out. But again, you get the same thing in the other classics. Giant shrieking eels aren’t really the apex of modern movie magic, huh?

The ambience – yeah, fancy word for the Brooklyn dragon – is surreal.

And THAT is what makes this movie a great fantasy flick.  In the destroyed city of Oz, you have these wildly cackling Wheelies who reminded me of a cross between bicycles and the teddy boys from A Clockwork Orange. The princess witch takes off her head and swaps it with the heads of a dozen or so hot chicks she offed in the past. Awesome!

I’m a fan of surreal art, but some presumed deep meaning often eludes me. Were the thumbtacks in the jelly jar meaningful in some way? Were they some symbol of something? The sticky-sweet realm of childhood hides sharp unpleasantries ready to draw blood… or hang you up on the bulletin board of life until you age and yellow?

I don’t know. The movie was entertaining, sometimes disturbing (eek. the white rabbit’s tongue!) and occasionally boring (yes, I get that she is going down, down, down the rabbit hole already). One of the biggest issues I had with the movie was the recitation, complete with close-up of little Alice’s lips and teeth, of all the speech tags in the movie. My writerly self was aghast. “Said the white rabbit,” and “the white rabbit called,” and “Alice thought to herself.” (One thousand modern writers on internet message boards chorus, “Who else is she going to think to?”

The stop-motion animation was well-done: flying sock worms and a glut of bone animals creeping about. I like weird stuff, so the weird stuff was great. But I’m still left with some gnawing feeling … much like what the white rabbit must have been feeling as he shoveled sawdust between those awful teeth… that I didn’t ‘get it’… that I somehow missed what it was all about. Was it just weirdness on film? Was it just reality vs. fantasy in a child’s mindless boredom warring as it always does?

Cover of Barbie Fairytopia

Little girls, and some boys, like beautiful fairies flitting over flowers and granting magical wishes. There are whole toy lines, such as Barbie Fairytopia and the Disney Tinkerbell and Friends thing, dedicated to fairies and magic.

Free fairy coloring pages can give your little girl enjoyment and end up being attractive pictures to hang on the fridge or walls.  Free coloring pages can be found tons of places on the web, but we’ve found some of the best for fairy pictures you can print out for your child to color.

Fairy Coloring Pages – several free fairy coloring pages for the intermediate color skills set

Fairies and Mythical Beasts – free coloring pages feature fairies as well as other mythical creatures like centaurs and elves.

Coloring Pages – fairy coloring pages for the younger crowd. Simpler pictures for fun.

Advanced Fairy Pics – for the older set who still loves to color, or those who wish to make truly beautiful artistic images of fairies.

Also consider some fairy coloring books for your fairy fan.

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I’ve never, in all my years, seen one sparkle.

“The Tales of Beedle the Bard” is a collection of five wizard fairy tales written by J. K. Rowling. It will be auctioned off and all royalties for the work will go to a charity for institutionalized children.

That’s awesome.

And, being a dragon, I can’t exactly go to the theater with Melanie, so I wait and see all the new movies when they come out on DVD. I caught “I Am Legend” with Will Smith the other night and I have a question.

Why do zombies always look like a mixture between the Mummy in The Mummy and the heads that scream out of the wall in Pink Floyd’s The Wall? I mean… freaky and all that, but why can’t some have hair, or green skin, or moss hanging off them, or something!

Michael Jackson, freak though he is, knew how to do a good zombie.

Need to do more research…. maybe over at All Thing Zombie.

Click the link to read the rest of the article about dragons breathing fire.

Five Ways to Stay Safe Around Dragons Breathing Fire